Off White Living

Today I had an interseting experience that brought to light the way I sometimes handle my body.

I was on a phone call in my house and the ‘low battery signal’ continued to make its appearance while I was making a call.  “Just a few more minutes”, I thought, and kept ignoring it.  Naturally, eventually the phone turned off and I HAD to deal with the low battery!

So it got me thinking: Why was I in such self-will about my cell phone that I refused to hear the signal until it go so serious that the phone shut down?  To be sure, this isn’ the end of my world, but the principle involved here is realy fascinating to me.

I look upon my life and think about how many times my body was sending me the warning signal: maybe feeling a little too tired to get up for that 5:30 am workout but I iddi it anyway, the bloatedness from eating foods that aren’t good for me, the little voice that says “No, don’t do X because you’re gonna feel like crap”, and yet I press ON!

The egoic mind is a baffling, cunning entity, indeed!  One one hand, self assurance and reliance is a powerful too for navigating life, but when it comes to the element of letting go of  ‘my way’ and trusting the signals before it’s too late, the ego is a real handicap.

The more I learn about myself and human nature, the more I can’t help but wonder if the real issue with people and food is this little thing called self-will.  We don’t want the foods we eat to have a negative impact, therefore we continue with our patterns until the warning lights go into overdrive and something shut’s down.  That shut down can be a heart attack, not fitting into your fat pants, getting caught binging on junk food and being utterly embarrassed, or whatever.  I’ve encountered many, MANY people who literally put their lives on hold because of their weight (vacations, jobs, sex) and yet their self-will is so immense that it keeps them trapped in a pattern of staying one step ahead of the warning lights.

My strategy to overcome this is to ‘listen from the neck down’ in my own body.  I recently read somewhere that over-eaters tend to be very cerebral and get very caught up in thought when they are eating, therefore they avoid listening to theri bodies.  I cant absolutely relate to that.  So my strategy is to ask my body what it is feeling, whether or not I am really hungry, and if so, for what.  In a nutshell: MINDFUL EATING.

So, my challenge is to bring this mindfulness into all aspects of my life.  That means letting go of judgements and expectations.  I had the expectation today that I could finish my phone call on my terms simply because I wanted it to be so.  Hmm…where else do I try and contrive the environment or outcome and in the process MISS a huge ‘win’ or opportunity b/c I’m too preoccupied with self will.

how about you bloggies ?  Can you relate, or is this offwhitegirl alone on the range here?