a near miss

yesterday was a tough day.  I was working on a grant all day, and mid-way through we decided to do a 180 with our direction.  Bleh.  Then, the DMV still hasn’t sent my tags in the mail.  Double Bleh.  THEN……you get the idea.

So after a long and wonderful walk with my friend D. I was still stressed and guess what? I craved sugar.  Big shocker, right?  Not just sugar but specifically cake frosting.  Not just cake frosting but the kind at the slices of cake at Safeway.  And even more specific than that – the white cake with the white frosting only, please.  If you’re thinking “….umm, doesn’t she know that is totally gross.  I mean, she is the Off White Living girl…..”. Yes, yes I do.  But what can I say.  When my lizard brain acts up, it want what it wants, and nothing else will do.

So there I stood and D’s house, half of my attention on saying my good-byes and the other half on calculating how fast I could get to Safeway and what kind of line there would be so I could get my cake and eat it too! (Clarification: I don’t eat the cake, just the frosting – which is even more ridiculous, don’t you think!).

I got in my car still plotting my escape into trans-fat and white sugar heaven when a little voice in me spoke up.  It said this “What if….just this once…you saw what would happen if you drove home instead?  All you have to do is make it past Poleline road and you’re in the clear.

Now, a dilemma began in my brain.  Only 97% of me was on board with this whole cake idea.  I drove away.  Then another voice spoke up “yeah, you just walked and you are feeling so good, and wouldn’t it feel better to see Matt after a long day than eat that cake and feel crappy about yourself?”

Egads! Now only about 70% of me was into this whole cake frosting business.  I’m driving towards Poleline – a new voice, louder than the others.  “Yeah, you don’t really need that frosting.  What is that going to do for you? Write the grant?  Make you happy?  It never does, does it?”

And it went on like this for approximately 6 minutes until….vioala!  I was home and no cake had been harmed during the time between leaving D’s house and rolling into my driveway.  I DID it!

And you know what??? I woke up this morning feeling SO FREAKIN’ GOOD that I didn’t eat that silly, ridiculous, unnecessary, make-me-feel-bad-about-myself cake frosting.  Instead I went home, kissed Matt, ate dinner and went on with my night!

Score one for yours truly and NADA for that frosting. 

You can do it too.  If I can do it…girl that fantasizes about cake frosting….you can too!!

3 thoughts on “a near miss

  1. Patricia Reed January 11, 2012 / 12:34 am

    Wow – you really described that process and it’s so great to have that description to carry around in my head for the next time…and there always is a next time! Thanks for your great writing, too – you make it easy to picture what’s happening.

  2. CJ January 11, 2012 / 1:29 am

    congrats! and i love the statment ‘what’s it going to do for you, write the grant?” that gave me a giggle and more insight.
    way to go Rebecca – you have come a long long way babe!

  3. Alice January 11, 2012 / 4:19 am

    You’re an inspiration Rebecca!!!!

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